Blessings

I wrote awhile ago about trials and how our life seemed to be on a rough road. It still has been for some time. I would myself discouraged, and unhappy on the things that Gabe and I did not have. I have learned a lesson the last few months. I learned that Gods time is not our time. I know that this trial of ours may have only been a few months. To us seemed like it dragged on forever. In April Gabe had lost his job. We were devestaed. It was a very difficult time for us. I had my job but we did not think we could make it on that alone. At times it was difficult to look at others and not be envious of what they had. It was hard to feel like we were doing everything that we were supposed to and still be so discouraged.
Lucky for us Gabe and I have great people in our lives to give us encouragement and advice. It was those people that made things a lot easier. A few days ago Gabe received a new job. We could not be happier. Although we felt like it was forever without one, to Heavenly Father it really was not. I cannot express how grateful I am for the many blessings that I have received throughout my life.  I have an amazing husband who I am so proud of. It's such a blessing to have such a great man by my side. He lifts me when I am down, he cries when I cry. He smiles when I smile. For the last few months I have focused on the things they I did not have rather than the things I do have. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. I have family who are there whenever I need them. And I have friends who care about me. Looking back on the last few months as much discouragement and sadness that I thought was in my life there was ten times more happiness that I did not focus on. I think about those that have a much harder life than I do. I am not sure how they make it without family, friends, and a great spouse. Yeah the first year of marriage has been challenging, but I think it's made us stronger. I love Gabe more today then I ever have. I know that when Heavenly Father sends us another trial, I know that we can get through it. It may be hard, it may seem like forever, but in the end the blessings you receive after are far better than your can imagine.

A New Decade!!!

Guess what??? Gabe turned the big 30 today. To be honest, he was not all that excited. I have been hearing about this day since he turned 29. " In 365 days I will no longer be in my twenties!" In 180 days I will no longer be in my twenties!" In less then 12 hours I will no longer be in my twenties!" This is a common phrase that has been going around our house  for the last 365 days by yours truly, Gabe.  I am not sure if it was the fact that he was reaching a new decade, or the realization that he is getting older that he was unsure about. Never the less, I tried to make his birthday as pleasant as it could be.
   I had a family dinner for him on Saturday. We held it at Golden Corral in Layton. It turned out wonderful and everyone had a great time. Thank you to everyone that came!

                                         My cousins Tim, Michele, Becky, Dean, Trace, Jeron, Brea

                                                      My cute little niece Juliet!!!

                                          Aunt Barbara, Cousins Tami, Zach, Brynlee, Jaxon

                                                      My handsome brother Scottie!!!

                                My other cute niece Noel and awesome sister-in-law Brooke!

                                                        Cousin Tayler and Kassie
I also thought that it would be a cute idea to make a candy bar poster. I found this cute little saying and my friend Tiffany helped me.

Gabe is not a huge cake fan so every year for his birthday we just make cupcakes. Last year lemon meringue. This year red velvet pecan with cream cheese frosting!!!

Today, I took Gabe to Village Inn for Breakfast. Then we drove up to Park City where we went to the World Market, Red Banjo Pizza for lunch, and the outlet malls to do a little shopping. Then we enjoyed a wonderful dinner at Ruby Tuesday followed by watching a movie. I think that Gabe enjoyed the day and I think the fear of turning 30 is finally over. I can now live in peace for the next nine years until a new decade begins!

P.S. Two years ago today Gabe and I became an official couple. Time sure does fly by!

Simple Joys

I feel as though I am the most random person in the world. When I get an idea in my head I continue to think about it and think about it some more. For those that don't know this, I used to play the violin. I started playing in the fifth grade. When in the fifth grade it was a requirement that we all had to play the violin for music class. All the students learned a few songs and we played in a concert. At the time I did not think much about it and honestly it seemed worthless. I am sure that a group of ninety fifth graders that had only a few months experience of playing the violin did not sound very good. But we all did and once the concert was over so was my career of playing the violin. Or so I thought. Well when I entered middle school most of my good friends were in orchestra and I wanted to be too. Of course I had some experience in playing the violin so I thought I would give it a shot. I rented a violin from school and joined the orchestra. I thought it was fantastic. I practiced everyday, learned how to read music, and was involved in school. As the years went on I continued to play and watched several other kids in Orchestra advance a lot faster than I  did. I did not care I was having fun doing it.
    I would find that when I was sad, depressed, and or angry I would lock myself in my room, pull out my violin and practice. If I was sad I would play something slow and depressing. If I was angry I would play something fast and loud. I guess I never realized that playing the violin was my way of expressing my feelings. When I finally hit high school I realized that I had not progressed as much as I would have liked on the violin. So my mother got me into private lessons. I had a wonderful teacher who was very patient and understanding. If I were her I probably would have given up on me way before I even started. But she taught me how to be a better player. She encouraged me to get over my shyness and to play in front of people. I felt like I was doing really well. In high school we had an advanced orchestra and an intermediate orchestra. I was never good enough to get into the advanced orchestra and I was always stuck in intermediate. Finally in my senior year of high school I dropped out of orchestra. I was discouraged that I had worked so hard and never made it to advanced. I continued to do lessons and mostly just played for myself. When I moved down SLC to go school I had to quit lessons and I put my violin away. In the five years that I have lived here in SLC I think that I have only taken out my violin twice. Gabe and I have been together 2 years and he has never even seen it little lone heard me play.
     For the last few months I have randomly been thinking about my old dusty violin and wondering if I should start it up again. So today I did it. I got it out! The hair on my bow was coming out, the violin was dusty and it was badly out of tune. I quickly tuned it and got out the hymn book. I started to play I know that my Redeemer lives. I was still able to read the notes and remember where to place my fingers. I am sure I sounded like I was in the fifth grade again.  I am pretty sure that Gabe wanted to cover his ears and run away, and I am pretty sure that if I had played any longer than I had that the neighbors would have called the police. But when playing all the feelings of peace and comfort came back. I suddenly realized why I played the violin in the first place. It was the one thing that I was good at. It was the one thing that I could turn too when I needed to get away from what I was feeling. It was the one way that I could express how I felt. It is amazing to me how much music can affect your life. I may have never been the best violin player in the world, I may never be. I realized today that I did play the violin for me. Who knows I may pick it up again, or I may just save it for one of my children. But was a nice reminder that when life seems too hard and or difficult that music is what helps me get through it.

1 year!!!!!

We officially made it through our one year of marriage. Gabe and I celebrated our anniversary yesterday.  It is amazing to me how much time flies. It seems that we only just began dating and that we have not even begun to discuss marriage. It was such an amazing day! Gabe was so sweet and made breakfast for me french toast and turkey bacon. We did have to go get the oil changed in the car. That was not the best part of the day but it had to be done. After the oil, we went to the gateway! Decided to have lunch there and wait for the movie to start. After the movie we came home and got ready for dinner. Gabe had made reservations at the Melting Pot. We had never been there before was not sure to expect. It was fabulous! For those of you that have never been there The Melting Pot is a fondue restaurant. We had the four course meal for the both of us. First we had cheese fondue, we chose to have Swiss cheese that they made right in front of us, then we had a salad, then came the meat fondue. They brought out raw  pieces of sirloin, steak, chicken, shrimp, pork. We placed the meat in the broth and cooked it ourselves. It was awesome! Then on came dessert, we had Turtle chocolate. Milk chocolate pecans, and Carmel, flambe in front of us. To dip in the chocolate we had strawberries, brownies, cheesecake, bananas, rice krispy treats, red velvet cake, and marshmallow's dipped in graham crackers and Oreo. Needless to say we were absolutely stuffed. It was amazing. We had a wonderful day and I am very grateful that I was able to share it with Gabe. Reflecting back on this last year, it was really hard but we made it. It made me realize that we can go through anything if we do it together and I am very lucky that Gabe is such an amazing person that puts up with me. I cannot wait to see what year two holds for us.

Diet

Alright folks here we go again!!!! I went to the doctor the other day for my yearly checkup. They took my temperature, oxygen level, and then the moment that I dread... The SCALE!!!! I know at the beginning of this year I wrote how I was going to do this diet and lose a thousand pounds and how I was determined and it was actually going to happen. I failed, I failed miserably. I was doing really well I had lost ten pounds and felt so good about myself. Then life happened and somehow that got in the middle of things. So here I am standing on that terrible scale watching for that  horrible number. With no surprise I had gained my ten pounds back. I was not happy. Well sitting in the patient  room waiting for the doctor to come in I noticed a little sign on the wall that read  "Ask me how U can get healthier." So when the doctor came in I did. She proceeded to tell me that there were many resources available to those that needed that extra little push. That is what I need. I need that little extra push. I feel like I can do it, I want to do it, but I need that something extra. There is a nutritionist that works at the clinic one day a week. She sits down with you once a month and makes a diet and exercise plan just for you. And the best part about it is it's free. You don't even have to pay a dime.
        So it is official, I am going to start this diet tomorrow. I feel like I have the determination, will power, and now I have that little bit of extra help. I know that I have  promised myself this many times. But I have to do this for me. This is the one thing that I can control in my life. This is the one thing that I think will make me feel better about myself. Let the dieting begin!!!



                                                                          

Trials!!!!

I now understand what people mean by the first year of marriage is one of the hardest. Gabe and I have been married for almost a year now. I have to say that more things have happened in this last year then in my entire life. When we got married I was so caught up in happiness, joy and love that I never thought about the future. With Gabe not being a citizen we faced legal trials. We had to fork out tons of money, tons of paperwork and tons of waiting. In the beginning I would find myself discouraged, depressed, sad and even tired. I knew at some point we would get through this. That somehow things were going to be alright. 6 long months later there was light at the end of the tunnel. We had made it together we had gotten passed the worst or so I thought. I began to feel relieved that Gabe was now a resident, that I no longer had to worry about the government taking him away from me. Our life then began to go down the smooth path. Suddenly we are back on the rough path. It's rocky, it's scary, it's depressing, and most of all it's hard. I know that somehow someway things are going to be alright. That we can make it together. For the time being the feelings of being depressed, discouraged, sad and even tired have all come back. I think that often times we as human beings have an image of what our life should be like. And when things don't turn out the way that you have visioned, we ask why???? I have asked myself this question for the last few weeks and I have yet to find the answer. I am not sure if we ever do find the answer to that question.  I have heard the saying a lot lately "God won't give you anything you can't handle." I know this situation is temporary, but sometimes I don't know if I can handle it.
       I am not sure how non-members of the church handle trials. I know that my faith, my prayers, and my understanding of Heavenly Father gives me comfort. There have been times in my life that my faith and prayers have not been the greatest. There are times when I am so discouraged that I have a tendency to forget about faith and prayer. When I stop to think about the entire world instead of just myself. There are several people out there that have trials ten times worse than Gabe and I. I am so so so grateful for my family. They are the greatest blessings that I have ever been given. I know that no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing they will always be there for me. I know that sometimes trial seem like an eternity but to Heavenly Father, they are just a moment in time and we can get through it.

My Valentine

Like all sixteen year old girls, I was immature, oblivious, and obnoxious about love. Sure I had an amazing time going on dates, going to dances, and spending my days day dreaming about the boy in history class. But in the back of my mind I always had this certain thought. This thought meant nothing to me in high school. By the time I was a senior I was way too involved in graduating, moving out of my parents house, and going to college that I never gave much thought to love. There were a few girls in my graduating class that were engaged by graduation and married by the end of the summer. Some of them even have 2 children by now, but not me. I went to school cheering because I was finally on my own. I was right where I wanted to be. Then I started going to the singles ward. Instead of going to church and learning about our Savior or reading the scriptures we learned about marriage. All everyone ever talked about was marriage. Would they make a great wife, would they have children, where would they live? Suddenly I felt that church was not only a place of worship but rather a place to find a husband. There was only two problems with this situation. One, I don't come to church to date, I come to church to get away from all of the worldly things and to grow closer to my Heavenly Father. Two, there was absolutely positively no one in my entire ward that I would have even considered dating. Needless to say the first few years of college were a little rough for me. Getting use to college, studying, working full time, and dating were all a little much for me. Something had to be put on hold and it certainly was not school or work so dating kinda went out the window. It was not until then that the thought that was in the back in my mind became more more important to me. It started to make me a little depressed, my self esteem went down, and I would find myself worrying more about this then anything else. The thought was that I was never going to get married. There was never going to be anyone out there that would love me for who I was. On several occasions during my younger years I made THE LIST!!! I believe that all girls know what THE LIST is. And for those that don't THE LIST is what girls make about all the attributes/ characteristics they want in their future husbands. I just thought that there was never going to be anyone that fulfilled my list.
    I never really had a valentine. I always seemed to break up with a boy right before or start dating one just after.  To be honest I kinda hated Valentine's. It was just another day to remind me that I was never going to get married, that no one was ever going to love me. It was also a day for the card and flower companies to get people's money. I always figured that if there was ever a man that loved me that he should show me he loved me every day and not because he was supposed to. At some point I came to "meltdown" or so I thought. All my friend's were getting married, and every where I looked I wanted what everybody else was having. A good friend of mine gave some great advice. " Dani, you are a beautiful, intelligent person. Anyone would be lucky to have, but are worrying about it too much. You need to focus on yourself, trust in the lord, and when it is time you will find the right person."
  A few years later, I did meet the right person. I did meet the person that loved me for me. I met someone that did fulfill my list.   I realize now that all the stress, worry, and depression that I went through was not worth it. I was doing all the right things that I was supposed to I should have known that the lord would have blessed me for it. I am still a little wiry about Valentine's Day. I still think that I should be loved everyday and not on one particular day. But I know that Gabe does love me everyday and when there is a knock at the door at 8 in the morning on Valentine's and the guy is holding flowers from Gabe I kinda like Valentine's!!!